When seeking a proofread for “Am I Ready: A Spiritual Guide to the Marital Journey” from a close friend and brother before its publication, I encountered a disagreement over terminologies. While he favored the term “red flag,” I insisted on using “flashing indicator.” To me, a red flag should always serve as a deal-breaker in relationships. Seeing one should prompt immediate reconsideration. For instance, acts of violence or chronic infidelity are clear red flags that no one should waste time fixing. Yet, I’ve witnessed excuses made for such behavior, leaving me bewildered by the disregard for personal safety and well-being.

In contrast, I coined the term “flashing indicator” to denote potential issues that may not be deal-breakers but signal future challenges. These indicators, though not necessarily fundamental, warrant attention and discernment. They could signify hidden flaws or beliefs that may emerge later. For instance, an offhand remark about a controversial topic like sex practices may serve as a flashing indicator of differing values or preferences.

I searched the dictionary for the individual definitions of flashing and indicator. The term “flashing” implies a sudden, brief burst of illumination, while “indicator” suggests something that gauges or reveals a state or level. Therefore, I concluded a “flashing indicator” denotes a subtle sign or indication that something may be amiss, experienced intermittently or briefly.

Ultimately, singles aspiring for marriage must heed these flashing indicators. Choosing a life partner is a serious decision that impacts one’s future happiness and well-being. Marriage can indeed be beautiful and sweet, but only when embarked upon with the right person. Your life is precious, please take it seriously.

I would love to hear from you. Was there a flashing indicator before you married your spouse? Did you think it was something, or you deliberately ignored it? Did you find out it was a big deal after you got married? Or was it merely inconsequential?

Please share in the comments. The singles would appreciate receiving communication/counsel from you.

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